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Cap'n Crunch To Challenge "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy SAN FRANCISCO -- Cap'n Horatio Crunch, the longtime naval officer and breakfast enthusiast, announced that he will publicly declare his homosexuality in order to challenge a policy toward gays in the military that he deemed "cruel and irrational." In a policy colloquially known as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Pursue," homosexual men and women may serve in the military without penalty, but only by concealing their sexual orientation and not soliciting or engaging in sexual activity. "I am not a nun," Crunch said. "I am a soldier." "This policy is absurd and we intend to take this challenge to the highest levels if necessary," said Jeffrey Fleschner, a Los Angeles-based attorney who will represent Crunch. Fleishner said Crunch will deliberately violate the policy by disclosing his longtime romantic relationship with the Monterrey, CA architect Edward Reinhold, 44. Crunch, who commands the 19th century-style clipper ship known as the S.S. Guppy, rose to prominence during the Korean War, when he orchestrated a series of daring re-supply missions in the East China Sea. In 1961, he was promoted into the secretive Special Ops division of the U.S. Navy, where he safeguarded the highly-prized U.S. supply of sugar cereal from Communist aggression. A single parent who raised and home-schooled four children during his years on the high seas, Crunch is perhaps the most prominent service member to seek legal recourse against the "Don't Ask, Don't tell" policy, which has been in a constant state of flux since its 1993 implementation. The Pentagon has been under increased pressure to alter its policy after the July beating death of a gay serviceman by a fellow soldier in the barracks of a Kentucky Army base. "I have the highest respect for the Cap'n and what he's accomplished for his country," said Secretary of Defense William Cohen. "But the fact of the matter is that homosexual behavior hurts unit and cohesion and morale. Our nation's commanders reserve the right to maintain the highest possible disciplinary standards." Cohen also reiterated that upperclassmen at the Virginia Military Institute would no longer be permitted to spank new recruits with coat hangers.